10.50 pm, and the sound of rain hitting on the conservatory is waking up the writer sleeping in me. What do I want to write about? I do not know. Then I look around, I see something beautiful,,,I see someone beautiful. My Mother! She is sleeping on the sofa opposite to me. I still get way darn excited when she talks about the times when she used to watch me sleeping as a baby. She says it was a beautiful sight. I smile widely. I wonder if she would get as excited as I do if I were to say that its the most beautiful thing in the world to watch her sleep.
Motherhood wasn’t easy for my mother, especially with a kid like me. Like every kids (or most kids) out there,I too went through phases where I was ashamed of my mother; got irritated by the things she done and said; and screamed at her for anything and everything. I remember one instance especially where I done something bad (surprise surprise) and she was chasing me but she fell down somehow. Although it seemed pretty funny at that time, the thought of this incident always brings tears to my eyes. Going to the park this afternoon with friends’ 5 year old on his bike and pushing the buggy (with great difficulties I tell you) with his 2 year old brother in it, I thought to myself, apart from the above mentioned incident, she never fell or failed as a mother.
All I could do in return now is to realise that my lovely mother will continue to annoy the living hell out of me (Mothers eh?!) but at the same time acknowledge my mother for the lovely mother she is to me and to my sisters, understands her for what she is and what she is not, and love for being the mother she is to me. I hoped and prayed to every goodness there is in me and in the world that I would change from being the worthless daughter I was in the past. I did change. I put conscious effort into our relationship. And now, we share a lovely relationship. I can see her for the amazing individual she is. And I think she is too, because she just came over, kissed me good night and said ‘I love you’.
‘I love you too, Mum’