A new day, a new start..an answer to my predicament.

6am,

Its dark, its cold,

And your life is on hold.

Muscles hurt, brain is frozen,

And you want to stay in bed for a reason.

Just a little bit more,

I’d wake up in 5

And it will be a new day,

A new start.

An answer to my predicament.

But hey,

That aint how it goes

I aint a snoozer

I dont wanna be a looser.

Hurt those muscles more,

Unfreeze the brain to the core, 

Put your reason to stay in bed on hold, 

And it will be a new day,

A new start,

An answer to my predicament. 

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Non-titled post 

I’m not giving any titles to this post as no title would be appropriate for the confusing, complicated and perhaps inevitable thoughts that come with that one dreadful word that I can’t keep away from: ‘Life’.

Life.

Four simple, straightforward letters.

But the meaning?

Not so simple or straightforward is it?

Now, I know when I was given Life,

But I know not when I started living Life.

Is it time, is it age, ot is it the stages that signifies Life?

Or the feelings that you know of or not know of?

The questions I can never find answers to,

The answers I can never find satisfaction with,

Makes me feel lost of the very same dreaded word.

I breath.

I see.

I feel

And I learn

But that’s not all what Life is, is it?

I dream

I yearn

I try

And I wish

Then again, that’s not all there is, is it?

I must surrender

To the Four simple, straightforward letter,

That does not ever give me a simple, straightforward definition.

To Life,

Yours.

I’m more than his Alien!

He suggested that we watch Martian and that I’d like it. I agreed, rather reluctantly. Whilst watching the movie, I asked him if he’d ever like to go to Mars. He said yes, to which I asked him ‘then why don’t you?. He said he’d need immense amount of training and knowledge to be able to go there, to which I asked him ‘why don’t you?’. He took his eyes off the screen, looked at me and said ‘I’m actually happy on earth’. I smiled and said ‘because you’ve got your alien here! ‘You’re more than an alien’

Wedding day speech on wedding anniversary

Came across this speech I wrote for my wedding reception but never got to read it out due to your usual wedding-receptiony-never-go-things-as-planned stuff. Thought I’d post this here, on the 1st anniversary of our wedding so that I can look back on this and actually praise myself for writing a good damn speech.

‘I’m standing here in front of you tonight mainly because I wasn’t really given a choice. ‘People are making an effort to celebrate your special love for each other, so its only fair that you put an effort and show them why your love is special’.

Some of yous know that I have a deep love for philosophy and use philosophy and metaphors to learn about life. Even though most of yous don’t know this about us, the beginning of mine and sterry’s meeting was of a philosophical one.

I was going back to Scotland after my October holidays, being all sad and weary on the stenaline bus. Off comes the hero with a shoulder bag on one hand and an apple core on the other. Sitting in the ferry, looking out of the window and embracing my philosophical side, I asked Sterry a thought provoking question. “what do you see out of the window”. The reply I got left me in pure amazement. Ive heard a lot of philiosphical explanations and thoughts in my life, but what I heard from him that day has to be the one that will always get me through life. Taking a deep breath, looking out of the window, he said “ I see doses and sambar”. Love at first sight guys love at first sight.

Everyone will have that one person in life who will bring out the best in that person. Sterry is that person for me. Couple of months past this coincidental yet enlightening journey, he asked me to join him for a coffee on a cold January morning. Now I’ve never been on a “coffee” with a person” like that, so I did not know what to expect. I mean I had a lot of guy friends but I never had a coffee with anyone, so naturally I was nervous about meeting an opposite gender for a coffee. Don’t really remember much of our conversation but what I do remember most and will remember for potentially the rest of my life is how he commented about my eyebrows. So the conversation went like this “whoever did your eyebrows, did not do a good job. They aren’t equal.” I stayed silent I went home and looked into the mirror, closely examined my eyebrows, and the only thing I could think of was I cannot believe I spent a whole of 10 minutes doing my eyebrows for this guy!! But because of this incident, I learnt the art of mastering my eyebrows and it’s all thanks to his honest feedback. Told you he’s brought the best in me.

We’ve been through some good times and bad times. Good times that make your love even more special and bad times that make your love grow stronger tests your relationship. I’d like to share a bad time I faced in our relationship recently, I hope it’s not too personal. So last week, I went through a real trial and temptation. Hardest time of our marriage. Last week, Sterry had a cold. A cold that resulted in severe amount of snoring. Snoring that kept me awake, snoring that made me poke him several times, snoring that made me look up on Google how to get used to snoring, snoring that made me do a lot of unusual things. Long story short, after what it seemed like the longest and toughest two of hours of my life, the storm calmed down, literally and it taught me a biggest lesson in marriage. There will always be loud snoring in marriages that will cause some sleepless nights, but if your love is stronger than the snoring, you will always surpass all the snoring in the marriage.

In all seriousness, regardless of the hard core feminist in me, who did not favour marriage, I found a not too bad guy, thanks to my mother’s constant prayers, candles, and intervention. Like everyone, I had my insecurities about relationships and marriage. But honestly speaking, the 6 years with him brought out a woman in me who can be stronger with her man, confident in herself and her abilities, gives me the courage to go on in life, inspires me or pushes me to work hard and teaches me to be patient.

When my mum phoned me last month, out of nowhere she asked me you’re really happy aren’t you achu, n I said ‘yeah’, ‘I am actually’. It’s often difficult for a human being to feel content in life in this day and age. But tonight, standing here in front of all you close family and friends, some missing, I can honestly say that I’m content in life. I am happy that I have a dad who gives me the ‘go ahead’ signal on life and dreams, I’m honoured to have a mother who has given me her compassionate side and sacrificed the life for us; sisters who are the most amazing people in my life; bestest friends who are more than I deserve, and in-laws who has made me one of them the minute they met me. Thank you to all you guys for being part of our lives, for helping us get here. We hope you can stay with us as we continue the journey of happily ever after life.’

The Power of Procrastination

I was set out on a mission to be productive, So I step away from my work and procrastinate by deleting emails our of my inbox, naturally. I come across some old emails from my sisters and husband and think to myself, there is a reason why I enjoy life so much. I have the best of the best in my life.

______________________________________________________________

Hope you are doing well in work.. tough times, hard times , funny times … jus wanted to say i love you …. hope u r getting excited to move in to the new house … the girl  who lived on her own and proved herself that she can be what ever she wants to be…. the one who can live with out any man cause women are strong , the one who found her prince and holding on to him, the one who is the oldest in the family  but still the baby of the parents, the one who held her sisters closer even after heavy rains 🙂 

 

the person who u r gonna be, the dreams u r gonna have, places to see , people to see 🙂 

 above all i love you .. may the music inspire you 🙂  

  was listening to this though u might like it 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55885Qnt7Ps

 love Anji 🙂

________________________________________________________________
 Date: Wed, 29 Oct 2014 21:30:04 +0000
Subject: RE:
From: AB Junior
To:AB senior 
Thanks ach. How  are you?
Your penpal appu Smiling face with smiling eyes
From: “AB senior”
Sent: 29 October 2014 21:23
To: “AB Junior
Subject: RE:

np appi, i’m ok
i’m on a mission to find 100 things i like about myself

 your pen pal
achu
 Date: Wed, 29 Oct 2014 21:30:04 +0000
Subject: RE:
From: AB Junior
To:AB senior 
I like that you like to do these things
I like that you’re really weird
 I like that I am your sister
I like that you are the oldest but you act like the youngest at times
 I like that you’re so old school, like a granny
I like that you’re such a social media conscious person- deleting all your personal photos of instagram,  who does that?
I like your style of writing in your blogs
Finally, I like that I love you
 Eughh I think I am goin to be sick from the cheesiness overload.
From: “AB Senior”
Sent: 29 October 2014 21:51
To: AB junior 
Subject: RE:
awwwwww you love me you love me 
I need more though
 From: “AB Junior”
Sent: 29 October 2014 21:23
To: “AB senior”
Subject: RE:
 Pfft you’re so needy! Nooooooo 
_________________________________________________________________


Hey baby,

I am in seemati now. I’m watching a father and mother buying their son clothes for his wedding. Somehow, I am smiling, because the mother reminds me of my own. She is strong, very very vocal, and just scolded her husband for the vastness and roundness of his belly.

But her love for the family, her attitude when she is sitting on the sofa pulling her rank and her double checking if she forgot something when they were leaving made me realise that marriages are born in heaven, but they live on earth. I guess that everything starts with puppy love after which we discover sincerity, honesty, beauty and faith in each other.

I know my flaws, and I know yours. I know that you accept yourself for who you are. I do too. For who you are, for what you do and for what you make me become. My idea of a marriage is us picking strawberries, fighting and making up, being different from each other and a million other things but together.

I will always love you

She believes and so she does!

image

Even in this day and age, it is difficult for a woman to do whatever she wants in life. Forget about her own fears, insecurities and self-doubts, but she also has to answer to others doubts in a woman’s ability to succeed. Sometimes its subtle and hidden, sometimes its very explicit.
I see it all, I hear it all, I might not say anything out loud but I do say ‘F.U’ inside my head and continue to do what I do best- being a Strong Independent Woman.

The joys of a Girl with uterus

My better-half caught me whilst I was being sneaky about something on my phone. ‘What is it?’ he asked. ‘Nothing’, I promptly answered. He grew more and more suspicious which left me with no choice but to be honest about what I was doing. ‘Its a menstrual cycle tracker, and  I  er…was er…updating my er…mood today’. ‘What was your mood today?’ he curiously asked. ‘I er.. put it down as er.. sensitive’, I shyly mumbled. ‘Ahhh so I have to be careful then eh?’ he cheekily asked.

He also thought it was the best time to share his observation about how my motivational level fluctuates everyday; how I’m ready to take on the world one day and the next I’m ready to take on nothing but my bed. His motivational level however stays the same everyday (Annoying, I know!). I reluctantly agreed to what he said and added  that sometimes my body is very weak and I have low energy, especially near to my ‘special days’. I felt very sheepish when I used the good old ‘the-joy-of-being-a-girl-with-uterus’ phrase.

I analysed the problem here as I went to bed

  1. To experience the body changes and the mood swings that you have absolutely no control over
  2. Being ashamed of actually admitting it to people
  3. Being disappointed in not being productive and blaming yourself as being lazy.

..and I fell asleep.

This morning though, My alarm who does NOT have ANY sort of mood swings or low energy problems woke up at sharp at 8 and woke me up at sharp at. I cursed everything under the sky for waking up, my body feels like a wrecked train and my mind feels like its in a vegetative state. My morning thoughts included: ‘I shouldn’t have no dreams, I don’t need to achieve anything, I’m not ambitious, strong or passionate as I think I am. I should just binge-watch a corny tv series and finish the 4 packets of watsits and 3 bars of toblerone that’s in the kitchen. But its a looooong way from here. And here it begins,  ‘The joy of being a girl with uterus’

Approximately at about 8.40, I thought to myself ‘I aint no girl with a uterus,  I a woman’. A woman with uterus. A woman who can woman up even though her uterus is being a ‘beesh’ to her. So I downloaded a productivity app, added simple tasks such as drinking water, having tea, tidying up room, praying etc on it; every ticks I had acquired beside the simple tasks motivated me to pursue and achieve bigger tasks.

Long story short, I finished all those 4 packets of watsits and the toblerone that was in the kitchen, but I replaced them with an amazing chicken roast and a rather delicious banana loaf I made.

AND I got myself a big tick for writing this blog post.

Not bad at all for a girl sorry woman with uterus.