Life’s little relationship problems

So, husband away for night shift, and I decide to be productive and get some work done.I put South Indian Musician A. R Rahman’s melodious songs on loads of work gets done whilst the south Indian in me deeply embraces the music. Then comes the song ‘Nila Kaaigarathu’. Out of nowhere, water works starts flowing and it wouldn’t stop. This is a song that my sister likes and used to sing all the time, much to my annoyance I’d like to add.

For me, she’s always been that annoying and naggy Anji, someone I make fun of relentlessly, someone I fight with and not talk to for days, someone who’s stubbornness could kill the world.We kept doing each other’s head in for the past 25 years I don’t know how time went by and suddenly, she is this strong, independent and an amazing woman who is about to someones wife in 7 months.

All my life, I never had any issues talking to anyone or making effort with  anyone. Her Fiance, a lovely man  who cannot be faulted for being in love with my sister had been a good friend till now. However, for the past couple of weeks, out of nowhere, I started feeling some resentment towards him and finding it difficult to talk to him. All I could think of if ‘he is Anji’s man, her husband-to-be, someone i’m going to share her with’. And I cant for the life of me get past my attachment issues with my sister and move forward which is very unlikely of me. May be its the fear that he is going to love her more that I love her, take care of her better than I did, protect her more than I ever could.

Its often easier for a friend to tell another friend how much they mean to them; a girlfriend to tell her boyfriend ‘thanks for having my back’;  and for a wife to tell her husband ‘I’m so glad you are in my life and I wouldn’t know where I’d be if I didn’t have you in my life’. To tell all these to your family?, your sister?, that’s certainly not easy.

Anji is that person who has been there your whole life that you cannot ever express how grateful you are for her sharing her food with you, for being protective of us and wanting to beat people up when they treat us bad, for buying you clothes, for speaking up to people on behalf of you and for just being her. Words would never do any justice if I were to tell her how important she is to me or the kind of role she plays in my life. Instead, I choose what any other sane individual out there would choose and not say a word and continue to do her head in, effortlessly.

Doing the wrong thing is the right thing to do at times

We live in a society where we tend to stick to what provides us comfort and ignore the rest. We choose what’s best for us and then ‘mind our own business’

I came home from work, open the door and I see an envelope lying about with a familiar handwriting on it. I open it and it’s a red cross inspirational card inside. It goes

“(my name)

I am a believer now in trying to do what you can for people around you. You made me believe that. I hope that the good you do, try to do and will do gives you the strength and hope to carry on with your vocation no matter what the hardships. I pray to God that he blesses you with courage and happiness. But perhaps that’s why he has made me. To top up your courage and happiness when the going gets hard.
Do remember
You make me very proud. Every day, every minute, every second

(My man’s name)”

After a long day at work, sure this is a nice thing to come home to. So I left it at my window side. I went back and picked it up to read it again. And that’s when I heard a man’s raised voice. It was the guy next door arguing with his partner. They had their door opened and we have a thin wall so I heard everything (and because I eavesdropped as well-guilty as charged!) The story was that they were breaking up and he asked her if she was going to leave the flat. I could hear the girl’s distant cry. He left the flat after that.

Me being the busybody I am, wanted to bolt down there and see if she was ok. But of course I didn’t. Because I’m a sensible girl! So I sought my mans approval. I presented the case to him. The first thing he said was “you’re not going over”. He does know me eh?! He reminded me that its not right and its someone’s personal life. He was right. He asked me if I’d like it if it was me. I said yes. I was right.
I said to him that I’m going over and I did.

The girl surprisingly took my meddling in business quite well. We had a bit of chat about what happened and she made up her mind. I apologised for prying into her life but she said it had helped her. I offered her a hug AND my Malteser easter egg(big sacrifice for me!). She was receptive towards both of them and I felt great.

I phoned my man back and said what had happened. I begged for credits and I got them. That’s when I said to him that sometimes doing the wrong thing is what’s right. I always had the heart to be there for strangers but never the courage.But Now I do and I am glad I do because my courage brought me immense happiness just there. My man’s prayer to God was certainly answered quickly.

He said he loves me and is proud of me for doing the wrong thing
I said I love him and proud of him for making me me

If we never had that conversation, I would have slept on that thought. If he never sent me that card, I would’ve never known that what it is that I’m made of. They say right things happen at the right times and I say they are right.

Sometimes its easier to get cooped up into our own little den, mind our own business and pretend like we don’t notice the awkward things that happen around us. Unfortunately, its come to the point where that is what’s best for us and the ‘right’ thing to do- minding our own business!

But if you ask me, a little bit of ‘minding’, eavesdropping and hugging wouldn’t do much harm to the world.

And if you ask Jesus, he would say that you should love your neighbour as you love yourself

No title!

WARNING:  Graphic ***footage! **
It’s NOT NOT NOT for the faint heart’d!

My stomach churned as I watched this video! I’m gutted that there are people like these exist in this world! I’m also wondering whether they would be able to live normally after doing what they done to this child!
In a way. I’m glad that this child is now in a safe place where she doesn’t have to suffer any more because of inhumane and selfish behaviour of people!!
Rest in peace sweet thing!

Mr Perfect vs Mr Right (for girls..sorry dudes!)

Corinthians 13:4-7:- “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails”

Video 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNSLzrXKFJU
Like the female character in this video, girls of all race, religion and ethnicity wish and dream of being swept off their feet with sweet romance. Our hearts yearn to love and be loved,and hope for a partner who is perfect, romantic, flawless, who understands and protects us(=Mr Perfect). I especially liked a sentence from this video where they mention that ‘what the world really loves is not a lover but a love story’. From a very young age, we drool over the male characters we see in chick flicks. We then idolise them, make a list (you know which list I’m talking about! ), walk around pretending we are the female characters out of the chick flicks and wait for the Mr Perfect to bump into us and fall in love with us right away. All these wishes and dreams are secured in a special ‘box’ inside our heart. And one day, we will meet that ‘Mr Perfect’ who has all the quality we had on our lists. He sweeps us off our feet, makes us fall in love like crazy AND steals our heart.  The dude in the video quotes Shakespeare “Love is blind and lovers cannot see’ and also says that we trust with the heart and not with the head. You let Mr Perfect get away with stealing your heart, dreams and possibilities and now you are left with nothing but pain and disappointments. You look around you, you see everyone else being happy in love. You think that love is not meant for you. Even when your heart is broken and it seems all hope, dreams and possibilities are lost; it still beat with a hope that you will find love or love will find you in the form of fate or destiny.

Your hearts wants you to hold on to the belief that one day ‘Mr Right’ will find you and you will fall in love and in to his arms. All you have to do is recognise ‘Mr Right’ when you see him; realise that ‘Mr Perfect only stole one part of your heart which was the notions and beliefs you had about love; and finally accept ‘Mr Right’ as your greatest love. ‘Mr Right’ might not be perfect. However, he is right, right for you. He will not steal your heart, he will only borrow it, just like the grandpa in the video did, and take care of it like his own heart. When you do find ‘Mr Right’,,,this is what your heart will be saying to you->(do watch the video)

Video 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8NEZ1l68LE