So for years, I’ve been quite careful about not losing my identity. However, yesterday, for the first time, I lost it. I lost my identity! I lost my identity to marriage!!
Ok, that’s a little bit dramatic!
So the point is, I changed my surname to Mathew. A lot of reasons why I did that, some right, some wrong. It sure is difficult for some to engage in that process of changing their surnames after getting married. Whilst it is as painful as it is to let go of an identity that I played so well for the past 25 years, and accept a new identity that I will be playing (well-ish?)for the rest of my life; I sure am glad that it is only my name that is changing because of marriage and not my personality. I will continue to view the world the way I see it, hear the things I want to hear and continue being an A* hole as my husband says, regardless of my marital status.
8 long months, so much has happened. Quit my job, decided to live with parents and sisters for three months before getting hitched, got hitched, moved to Edinburgh, started the new journey as a ‘wife’, decided to try out a new career path and now in search of ‘success’.
But what I do need to remember is that the key to success is trying, knowing that you have tried, admitting that you have tried, being content with your trials, taking breaks, saying ‘thank you’s and appreciating the opportunity to try.
“We’re getting divorced because we love each other, and we both realize that we don’t have enough of what the other needs. When we decided to get divorced, I wrote a note with all the things I loved about her, and gave it to her. She got very emotional and started crying. Then three days later, she wrote me a similar note. But here’s the thing— she wrote it on the back of a recycled piece of paper. She wrote it on the back of an advertisement or something. So I called her out on it. And she said: ‘I knew you were going to bring that up. If you cared, you wouldn’t mind what it was written on.’ And I said: ‘Well, if you cared, you’d have gotten a fresh piece of paper.'”
What this made me think: Me and S are doomed! We are stuck with each other forever as we never look at what we write on. We would just end up appreciating each other for making the words rhyme or something if it were us.