He suggested that we watch Martian and that I’d like it. I agreed, rather reluctantly. Whilst watching the movie, I asked him if he’d ever like to go to Mars. He said yes, to which I asked him ‘then why don’t you?. He said he’d need immense amount of training and knowledge to be able to go there, to which I asked him ‘why don’t you?’. He took his eyes off the screen, looked at me and said ‘I’m actually happy on earth’. I smiled and said ‘because you’ve got your alien here! ‘You’re more than an alien’
Before you know, it will be time to say good bye to 2016. How are the years flying, I still have no idea! Whilst every hour, every month and year is slipping away from your grip without your consent, I refused to believe that a part of me is leaving with time. Truth is though, whether I admit it or not, I’m getting old . So is everything and everyone else around me. We are changing, physically and emotionally, everyday.
My sisters have grown up and entering different phases in their lives;my parents are getting old even if i refuse to acknowledge any signs; my other-half is growing into a family man, my friends are getting married,having babies, getting separated or moving away; and my grand parents, well i’m just grateful for every extra day that they get to see!
Change is inevitable! And it scares me, like everyone else! Whilst I’m still stuck in the past, thinking of the ‘good-old’ times, time is moving forward and it is bringing in loads and loads of changes in everyone and everything. I’ve got two choices: a, be stuck in the past and be bitter about change; b, move forward with time.
I choose the latter, not with a lot of enthusiasm but with pain. I will move forward, taking my memories along with me and not losing track of the things that I were. I will also be reminded of the story of the eagle that transformed itself rather painfully when time plays it tricks on me.
Photo Credit: Driveway Sledding by Jessie
I met you.. got to know you..got close to you. We were quite a pair. Staying up and talking all night was a tradition that we created for us. You used to stay in the bathroom to get a ‘good reception’ and you never failed to make me laugh with your wild jokes/statements. One of which was about the Arabic girls having really hairy legs. I have no idea what that was about but it always cracked me up.
You were there for me through thick and thin. When I was down, you were down. You were incapable of cheering me up. And I’m glad you never tried. You were really terrible at cheering someone up and lacked the ability to do so. You, however, knew how to be part of someone’s sadness or misery. You were always there to console others when things weren’t going so great.
You taught me to act confident even if I weren’t feeling confident. You told me that I was beautiful. The 16-year-old insecure me called you crazy. You laughed, I blushed!
As we started pursuing our higher studies, dreams, and love life; the picture of ‘us’ started fading away. The space between us grew wider. It was when you phoned me up to tell me that you passed your driving test, I realised that we rarely had time for each other any more. We were growing up without each other. It was wrong. I should have called you up. I should have checked how things were going with your life. I should have told you about the amazing man I found for myself. I should have asked you about the girl/s you were dating at that time. But I didn’t. I didn’t call you up. I didn’t check up on you. And I regret that, more than anything else in this world.
When she phoned me up and said that you passed away, I did not believe her. How could I?! I convinced myself that it was another guy we knew who had the same name as you. I phoned her back. I asked her if it was that guy. All she said was ‘I’m so sorry’. I cried and cried and cried. I was helpless. Everything went wrong. Crying was the only thing I could do right.
People ask me what it is that I had with you. I don’t have an answer to give them. You were like a brother, a lover, a friend, and an enemy, all at once. How do I explain that to someone God only knows?! The night that I learnt about your departure from this world, my better half who never had a chance to meet you asked me to tell him about you. He wanted to know what you were like. And I said, ‘he was an annoying brat who made a lot of girls cry, who made racist jokes, someone who drove me and a lot of others crazy, he disliked dating ‘angelic girls’ but he loved the snow’
3 years this week, but the memories I had with you stay as fresh as the snow. And when the snow does fall, I look up the sky, I imagine you looking down on me with a cheeky grin on your face. I still hate the snow I’ll have you know. But I hope you love it up there amongst the clouds, cunningly planning to send the snow down on me to annoy me, creating a lot of havoc for the heavenly members and dating a lot of not angelic girls but angels themselves.