Inspiration

Inspiration. An unusual guest to come by and knock on my door. I went to bed last night hoping and dreaming of a productive day today, and setting myself agendas. All plans were destroyed when I opened my eyes this morning at 09:53. I lied in bed for another half an hour scrolling through Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat over and over again. I hopelessly look up inspirational movies in the hope that some movie would get me going. Did not work. I type in ‘inspirational videos’ on youtube. Something comes up, I indulge in it for 3 minutes, some guy talking about setting himself a 5 million target and achieving it in 5 years. Inspirational. Well done him. But what I want now is to get out bed, something worth more than 5 million dollars. And thats when it hits me. The inspiration I’m seeking for all long is right here, lying in bed, looking for inspiration. Ironic.

I immediately get up, have some breakfast, get changed and get my cycle out. I go for 30 mins cycling in the near by scenic route.

On my way, I see an older couple on their walk, two young girls sitting on a bench who seem to be in a deep conversation, a family with 3 young children and a dog, a man on his walk. I look around, see the lake, the trees, the leaves that have fallen, and I think to myself: the inspiration I always look for does not lie within YouTube or any movies. That inspiration is me, in me. The inspiration that gets me out of bed, and gets me to see the real beauty of the nature and of human beings.

Seeing that inspiration, believing in that inspiration and choosing that inspiration is difficult. Extremely difficult. But I hope when I look up inspirational videos or movies next time, I think of this experience and choose to see and believe the inspiration that I have within me.

Life’s little moments.

Talking to a friend made me realise that I’ve been soooooooo busy recently. So busy that I forget to write down the little moments of life, remember these moments later on, celebrate and cherish them. You get so copped up with life that you don’t have enough hours in the day to read a book that you like, do a self-less good deed once a month or to tell your loved one why you appreciate them being in your life. Laziness, refusal to be out of your comfort zone or just plain inability to appreciate or celebrate life’s little moments all could be the reason.

But I refuse to be like this.

Ima start enjoying life’s little moments again and celebrate them cause, quite frankly, life is amazing!

Here’s to life and to the friend who reminded me of this!

 

The joys of a Girl with uterus

My better-half caught me whilst I was being sneaky about something on my phone. ‘What is it?’ he asked. ‘Nothing’, I promptly answered. He grew more and more suspicious which left me with no choice but to be honest about what I was doing. ‘Its a menstrual cycle tracker, and  I  er…was er…updating my er…mood today’. ‘What was your mood today?’ he curiously asked. ‘I er.. put it down as er.. sensitive’, I shyly mumbled. ‘Ahhh so I have to be careful then eh?’ he cheekily asked.

He also thought it was the best time to share his observation about how my motivational level fluctuates everyday; how I’m ready to take on the world one day and the next I’m ready to take on nothing but my bed. His motivational level however stays the same everyday (Annoying, I know!). I reluctantly agreed to what he said and added  that sometimes my body is very weak and I have low energy, especially near to my ‘special days’. I felt very sheepish when I used the good old ‘the-joy-of-being-a-girl-with-uterus’ phrase.

I analysed the problem here as I went to bed

  1. To experience the body changes and the mood swings that you have absolutely no control over
  2. Being ashamed of actually admitting it to people
  3. Being disappointed in not being productive and blaming yourself as being lazy.

..and I fell asleep.

This morning though, My alarm who does NOT have ANY sort of mood swings or low energy problems woke up at sharp at 8 and woke me up at sharp at. I cursed everything under the sky for waking up, my body feels like a wrecked train and my mind feels like its in a vegetative state. My morning thoughts included: ‘I shouldn’t have no dreams, I don’t need to achieve anything, I’m not ambitious, strong or passionate as I think I am. I should just binge-watch a corny tv series and finish the 4 packets of watsits and 3 bars of toblerone that’s in the kitchen. But its a looooong way from here. And here it begins,  ‘The joy of being a girl with uterus’

Approximately at about 8.40, I thought to myself ‘I aint no girl with a uterus,  I a woman’. A woman with uterus. A woman who can woman up even though her uterus is being a ‘beesh’ to her. So I downloaded a productivity app, added simple tasks such as drinking water, having tea, tidying up room, praying etc on it; every ticks I had acquired beside the simple tasks motivated me to pursue and achieve bigger tasks.

Long story short, I finished all those 4 packets of watsits and the toblerone that was in the kitchen, but I replaced them with an amazing chicken roast and a rather delicious banana loaf I made.

AND I got myself a big tick for writing this blog post.

Not bad at all for a girl sorry woman with uterus.

 

I do my own thing; sometimes I regret it, sometimes I don’t!

8 long months, so much has happened. Quit my job, decided to live with parents and sisters for three months before getting hitched, got hitched, moved to Edinburgh, started the new journey as a ‘wife’, decided to try out a new career path and now in search of ‘success’.

But what I do need to remember is that the key to success is trying, knowing that you have tried, admitting that you have tried, being content with your trials, taking breaks, saying ‘thank you’s and appreciating the opportunity to try.

 

Here’s to endless trying!

Brain farts

There should’ve been a blog post on Saturday titled as ‘my girlfriends brain fart’ that would have described the story of how the girlfriend in question persuaded/convinced her boyfriend to give a dodgy looking ‘hitchhiker’ a lift to the city at around 9pm. The boyfriend felt that this title was the most appropriate title for the post and the girlfriend agreed.

Anyways, today, my colleague and I were talking about these brain farts and we came to the conclusion that people these days are scared and photo (3)sceptical about helping someone in need. Interestingly, on my way back home after I dropped my colleague off, I noticed a man walking by who kept on looking back at something. I managed to catch a glimpse of what it was and realised that it was a crow sitting on the kerb. I sensed that there was something wrong with the bird. I kept on driving. The usual things like ‘its just a crow’, ‘really?’ ‘you gotta be kidding me’ went on in my head. But then, I said ‘flip it’ out loud and pulled over. Walked back to where it was and discovered that it was a crow baby. It looked injured but I was not that brave enough to give it a detailed examination. Phoned the Scottish spca and sought advice. The woman on the phone reassured me that it will be fine (the crow was toddling whilst I was on the phone). She said that the mother bird will probably be around and that it will take care of the baby crow as they are a very protective species. I walked back to my car.

Now, this post is more for myself than anyone else to remind the future me (!)that there are two types of helping hands. 1)The helping hand that works in convenience, 2)the helping hand that would help the needy no matter what the circumstance is like.
Blowing my own trumpet here, but I realise that I got the latter. Yes there are certain risks that are associated with this kind, but honestly speaking, the feeling you get out of it afterwards is so freaking worth it man.

Before we stopped the car to give the hitchhiker a lift, my better half quite angrily (for the right reasons) asked me ‘Do you realise the kind of risk we are taking?’ My response was, I’m scared as anything but if we die, we will die with pride knowing that we helped or tried to help a person in need.

Vegetables have feelings too!

  1. You go to the grocery store
  2. You see them in store, you feel like its good for you and that you should have them
  3. Once in your fridge, you cannot be bothered and don’t pay much attention to it
  4. Once the expiry date is near or passed, you try everything you can do with them to not waste it. This might or might not cause regrets later on.
  5. Go to the grocery store again

It’s a vicious cycle till the day you realise that vegetables have feelings too

Nah this definitely can’t be related to life or things in life

Sincerely

The person who’s risking her life for the expired mushrooms coz they gat feelings!

No one told me that no two apples are the same

Had an apple. It was the most heavenly thing I’ve tasted in my entire life. Twas finished in no seconds. Picked up another one expecting it to be the same. But, had to spit it out as it was the sourest thing I’ve ever tasted in my life. Disappointed, I picked up another one. It wasn’t the most heavenly one or the sourest one on earth,… it was just,, medium.

Now, I know life likes to give me important lessons through apples and all. But honestly, I just wanted the apples to be the same as the first one.

No one prepared me for this hardship in life!

That one little quaver!

quaverI was craving for a packet of quavers. Whatever you crave for, you get it! That’s the rule right? So I got a packet of ’em. They disappeared in less than 1 minute.  No idea where they went (!). Couldn’t resist the temptation again. Went for another one. Finished that packet as well. (yeah, I know!)
Just when I thought I was done with it all, I found a quaver on my bed. Happy was I who found the quaver. The ‘cheesy’ me tried to relate this to one’s life in 2 different ways. And here’s my attempt.

1. Just when you thought you were done with all the ‘quavers’ in your life, there appears another one that makes you go ‘why me?’
2. Just when you find that there are no more ‘quavers’ left in your life, there appears a random ‘quaver’ that will make you appreciate your life and the previous ‘quavers’ in life.
It all depends on how you look at the quaver 😉

“Even if you just scribble scrabble on the page you can turn it into wind or a tree if you look at it right” (Quote From H.O.N.Y)