Non-titled post 

I’m not giving any titles to this post as no title would be appropriate for the confusing, complicated and perhaps inevitable thoughts that come with that one dreadful word that I can’t keep away from: ‘Life’.

Life.

Four simple, straightforward letters.

But the meaning?

Not so simple or straightforward is it?

Now, I know when I was given Life,

But I know not when I started living Life.

Is it time, is it age, ot is it the stages that signifies Life?

Or the feelings that you know of or not know of?

The questions I can never find answers to,

The answers I can never find satisfaction with,

Makes me feel lost of the very same dreaded word.

I breath.

I see.

I feel

And I learn

But that’s not all what Life is, is it?

I dream

I yearn

I try

And I wish

Then again, that’s not all there is, is it?

I must surrender

To the Four simple, straightforward letter,

That does not ever give me a simple, straightforward definition.

To Life,

Yours.

The Power of Procrastination

I was set out on a mission to be productive, So I step away from my work and procrastinate by deleting emails our of my inbox, naturally. I come across some old emails from my sisters and husband and think to myself, there is a reason why I enjoy life so much. I have the best of the best in my life.

______________________________________________________________

Hope you are doing well in work.. tough times, hard times , funny times … jus wanted to say i love you …. hope u r getting excited to move in to the new house … the girl  who lived on her own and proved herself that she can be what ever she wants to be…. the one who can live with out any man cause women are strong , the one who found her prince and holding on to him, the one who is the oldest in the family  but still the baby of the parents, the one who held her sisters closer even after heavy rains 🙂 

 

the person who u r gonna be, the dreams u r gonna have, places to see , people to see 🙂 

 above all i love you .. may the music inspire you 🙂  

  was listening to this though u might like it 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55885Qnt7Ps

 love Anji 🙂

________________________________________________________________
 Date: Wed, 29 Oct 2014 21:30:04 +0000
Subject: RE:
From: AB Junior
To:AB senior 
Thanks ach. How  are you?
Your penpal appu Smiling face with smiling eyes
From: “AB senior”
Sent: 29 October 2014 21:23
To: “AB Junior
Subject: RE:

np appi, i’m ok
i’m on a mission to find 100 things i like about myself

 your pen pal
achu
 Date: Wed, 29 Oct 2014 21:30:04 +0000
Subject: RE:
From: AB Junior
To:AB senior 
I like that you like to do these things
I like that you’re really weird
 I like that I am your sister
I like that you are the oldest but you act like the youngest at times
 I like that you’re so old school, like a granny
I like that you’re such a social media conscious person- deleting all your personal photos of instagram,  who does that?
I like your style of writing in your blogs
Finally, I like that I love you
 Eughh I think I am goin to be sick from the cheesiness overload.
From: “AB Senior”
Sent: 29 October 2014 21:51
To: AB junior 
Subject: RE:
awwwwww you love me you love me 
I need more though
 From: “AB Junior”
Sent: 29 October 2014 21:23
To: “AB senior”
Subject: RE:
 Pfft you’re so needy! Nooooooo 
_________________________________________________________________


Hey baby,

I am in seemati now. I’m watching a father and mother buying their son clothes for his wedding. Somehow, I am smiling, because the mother reminds me of my own. She is strong, very very vocal, and just scolded her husband for the vastness and roundness of his belly.

But her love for the family, her attitude when she is sitting on the sofa pulling her rank and her double checking if she forgot something when they were leaving made me realise that marriages are born in heaven, but they live on earth. I guess that everything starts with puppy love after which we discover sincerity, honesty, beauty and faith in each other.

I know my flaws, and I know yours. I know that you accept yourself for who you are. I do too. For who you are, for what you do and for what you make me become. My idea of a marriage is us picking strawberries, fighting and making up, being different from each other and a million other things but together.

I will always love you

Life’s little moments.

Talking to a friend made me realise that I’ve been soooooooo busy recently. So busy that I forget to write down the little moments of life, remember these moments later on, celebrate and cherish them. You get so copped up with life that you don’t have enough hours in the day to read a book that you like, do a self-less good deed once a month or to tell your loved one why you appreciate them being in your life. Laziness, refusal to be out of your comfort zone or just plain inability to appreciate or celebrate life’s little moments all could be the reason.

But I refuse to be like this.

Ima start enjoying life’s little moments again and celebrate them cause, quite frankly, life is amazing!

Here’s to life and to the friend who reminded me of this!

 

Identity theft!

So for years, I’ve been quite careful about not losing my identity. However, yesterday, for the first time, I lost it. I lost my identity! I lost my identity  to marriage!!

Ok, that’s a little bit dramatic!

So the point is, I  changed my surname to Mathew. A lot of reasons why I did that, some right, some wrong. It sure is difficult for some to engage in that process of changing their surnames after getting married. Whilst it is as painful as it is to let go of an identity that I played so well for the past 25 years, and accept a new identity that I will be playing (well-ish?)for the rest of my life; I sure am glad that it is only my name that is changing because of marriage and not my personality. I will continue to view the world the way I see it, hear the things I want to hear and continue being an A* hole as my husband says, regardless of my marital status.

I do my own thing; sometimes I regret it, sometimes I don’t!

8 long months, so much has happened. Quit my job, decided to live with parents and sisters for three months before getting hitched, got hitched, moved to Edinburgh, started the new journey as a ‘wife’, decided to try out a new career path and now in search of ‘success’.

But what I do need to remember is that the key to success is trying, knowing that you have tried, admitting that you have tried, being content with your trials, taking breaks, saying ‘thank you’s and appreciating the opportunity to try.

 

Here’s to endless trying!

Brain farts

There should’ve been a blog post on Saturday titled as ‘my girlfriends brain fart’ that would have described the story of how the girlfriend in question persuaded/convinced her boyfriend to give a dodgy looking ‘hitchhiker’ a lift to the city at around 9pm. The boyfriend felt that this title was the most appropriate title for the post and the girlfriend agreed.

Anyways, today, my colleague and I were talking about these brain farts and we came to the conclusion that people these days are scared and photo (3)sceptical about helping someone in need. Interestingly, on my way back home after I dropped my colleague off, I noticed a man walking by who kept on looking back at something. I managed to catch a glimpse of what it was and realised that it was a crow sitting on the kerb. I sensed that there was something wrong with the bird. I kept on driving. The usual things like ‘its just a crow’, ‘really?’ ‘you gotta be kidding me’ went on in my head. But then, I said ‘flip it’ out loud and pulled over. Walked back to where it was and discovered that it was a crow baby. It looked injured but I was not that brave enough to give it a detailed examination. Phoned the Scottish spca and sought advice. The woman on the phone reassured me that it will be fine (the crow was toddling whilst I was on the phone). She said that the mother bird will probably be around and that it will take care of the baby crow as they are a very protective species. I walked back to my car.

Now, this post is more for myself than anyone else to remind the future me (!)that there are two types of helping hands. 1)The helping hand that works in convenience, 2)the helping hand that would help the needy no matter what the circumstance is like.
Blowing my own trumpet here, but I realise that I got the latter. Yes there are certain risks that are associated with this kind, but honestly speaking, the feeling you get out of it afterwards is so freaking worth it man.

Before we stopped the car to give the hitchhiker a lift, my better half quite angrily (for the right reasons) asked me ‘Do you realise the kind of risk we are taking?’ My response was, I’m scared as anything but if we die, we will die with pride knowing that we helped or tried to help a person in need.

My dominos- would not trade them for the world!


Been up since 4am, travelling all the way down to Inverness for a long court appearance. Shattered, sick and sleepy I am. And then comes a random text from the youngest sibling going “you just have to accept everything and anything that comes your way. It will be all right you’ll finish it.”
Slight confusion with the ‘motivational’ text and laziness added together, a ‘hmm’ hits my outbox.
The explanation of that text knocks on my door after 2 minutes: “your sisters sent you dominos pizza”
With a ‘what the ‘ look on my face, I receive the pizza and think to myself crazy they might be but I wouldn’t trade them for the world. My dominos!