Much dreaded day of the year!

A much dreaded day is coming up for me. My birthday. A day that causes stress in me, my family and friends. This year though, instead of getting gifts, cards, messages and money, I decided to do something different. Below here are some of the causes that I believe in. It would mean the world to me, and make my day and my life so special if you can do any of these for me. Please do message me (privately) if you are able to do any of these, or your own thing if you’d like, and I will cherish that in my life forever.
Bring a box of chocolate to the local ambulance, fire station, A&E (or police station if you dare!)
Give motivational books, posters or materials to the local youth hostel near you. Alternatively, send me a donation for buying these things or send these things to me and I will personally deliver them to the local youth hostel that I work in.
Homeless people- 1, Give a fiver or tenner to a homeless person. 2, Create a care package with snacks, sandwiches, toiletries etc and give it to 5 homeless people. 3, Get to know a homeless person, get to know his/her circumstances and get him a sandwich of his choice for 4 weeks.
Donate money or clothes to your local Barnardos charity for children (or any children’s charity of your choice)
A donation for the older people’s cafe (LinkLiving)that I volunteer at (I will specify what the money will be used for later on).
Help elderly with their shopping.
Ask a shop assistant how his or her day has been.
If you have a grandparent who lives near you or with you, give him/her a hug and a kiss.
Leave a compliment under a young girls profile picture of herself.
Leave a note on your rubbish bin for the man/woman who collects your rubbish thanking them for their service.
Finally, if you are religious, say a little prayer for me to be always grateful for the life I have and blessings I have in life. And for my catholic friends and relatives, may be light a little candle or say a decade of rosary/divine mercy chaplet for me?
Thank you
I will be sure to have the best birthday this year!

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A new day, a new start..an answer to my predicament.

6am,

Its dark, its cold,

And your life is on hold.

Muscles hurt, brain is frozen,

And you want to stay in bed for a reason.

Just a little bit more,

I’d wake up in 5

And it will be a new day,

A new start.

An answer to my predicament.

But hey,

That aint how it goes

I aint a snoozer

I dont wanna be a looser.

Hurt those muscles more,

Unfreeze the brain to the core, 

Put your reason to stay in bed on hold, 

And it will be a new day,

A new start,

An answer to my predicament. 

Lets put the world back together, piece by piece

In the days that are filled with pain,
In the world that is filled with negativity,
Lest we forget,
Evil cant fight evil
Evil wont fight evil

Lets put the world back together,
Piece by piece

Spread a little positivity
Smile at someone,
Wave at a stranger,
Feed the homeless, or give a fiver
Open the door for elderly,
Help a mother with her shopping bags
Do your bit.

Lets put the world back together,
Piece by piece.

Non-titled post 

I’m not giving any titles to this post as no title would be appropriate for the confusing, complicated and perhaps inevitable thoughts that come with that one dreadful word that I can’t keep away from: ‘Life’.

Life.

Four simple, straightforward letters.

But the meaning?

Not so simple or straightforward is it?

Now, I know when I was given Life,

But I know not when I started living Life.

Is it time, is it age, ot is it the stages that signifies Life?

Or the feelings that you know of or not know of?

The questions I can never find answers to,

The answers I can never find satisfaction with,

Makes me feel lost of the very same dreaded word.

I breath.

I see.

I feel

And I learn

But that’s not all what Life is, is it?

I dream

I yearn

I try

And I wish

Then again, that’s not all there is, is it?

I must surrender

To the Four simple, straightforward letter,

That does not ever give me a simple, straightforward definition.

To Life,

Yours.

Life Motto Revelations

It’s often difficult to take new steps in life. I’ve been dying to get myself back into dance this year. It was getting to the stage where it was shameful to think, never mind say to someone, that I once used to do some dancing. I lack confidence on the dance floor and find it easier to just say ‘I suck at dance’ and just do my usual chicken dancing. But today, I went for my first dance lesson. I was rather anxious to go there, do the dancing, meet new people etc.  Life motto No 1: ‘If the thought of doing something makes you nervous, do exactly just that.’ I did just that and I’m glad I did.

Now the dancing lesson was intense and I somehow managed bits n bobs. It did not improve my dancing or confidence right away, and I don’t know if it ever will (although I’m hoping it will otherwise world will be a darker place with my chicken dance!). What it did do was make me reiterate my life motto no 2: ‘be what you want to be’ and implement it. I did just that and I’m glad I did.

Time and change

Before you know, it will be time to say good bye to 2016. How are the years flying, I still have no idea! Whilst every hour, every month and year is slipping away from your grip without your consent, I refused to believe that a part of me is leaving with time. Truth is though, whether I admit it or not, I’m getting old . So is everything and everyone else around me. We are changing, physically and emotionally, everyday.

My sisters have grown up and entering different phases in their lives;my parents are getting old even if i refuse to acknowledge any signs; my other-half is growing into a family man, my friends are getting married,having babies, getting separated  or moving away; and my grand parents, well i’m just grateful for every extra day that they get to see!

Change is inevitable! And it scares me, like everyone else!  Whilst I’m still stuck in the past, thinking of the ‘good-old’ times, time is moving forward and it is bringing in loads and loads of changes in everyone and everything. I’ve got two choices: a, be stuck in the past and be bitter about change; b, move forward with time.

I choose the latter, not with a lot of enthusiasm but with pain. I will move forward, taking my memories along with me and not losing track of the things that I were. I will also be reminded of the story of the eagle that transformed itself rather painfully when time plays it tricks on me.

Inspiration

Inspiration. An unusual guest to come by and knock on my door. I went to bed last night hoping and dreaming of a productive day today, and setting myself agendas. All plans were destroyed when I opened my eyes this morning at 09:53. I lied in bed for another half an hour scrolling through Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat over and over again. I hopelessly look up inspirational movies in the hope that some movie would get me going. Did not work. I type in ‘inspirational videos’ on youtube. Something comes up, I indulge in it for 3 minutes, some guy talking about setting himself a 5 million target and achieving it in 5 years. Inspirational. Well done him. But what I want now is to get out bed, something worth more than 5 million dollars. And thats when it hits me. The inspiration I’m seeking for all long is right here, lying in bed, looking for inspiration. Ironic.

I immediately get up, have some breakfast, get changed and get my cycle out. I go for 30 mins cycling in the near by scenic route.

On my way, I see an older couple on their walk, two young girls sitting on a bench who seem to be in a deep conversation, a family with 3 young children and a dog, a man on his walk. I look around, see the lake, the trees, the leaves that have fallen, and I think to myself: the inspiration I always look for does not lie within YouTube or any movies. That inspiration is me, in me. The inspiration that gets me out of bed, and gets me to see the real beauty of the nature and of human beings.

Seeing that inspiration, believing in that inspiration and choosing that inspiration is difficult. Extremely difficult. But I hope when I look up inspirational videos or movies next time, I think of this experience and choose to see and believe the inspiration that I have within me.

The Power of Procrastination

I was set out on a mission to be productive, So I step away from my work and procrastinate by deleting emails our of my inbox, naturally. I come across some old emails from my sisters and husband and think to myself, there is a reason why I enjoy life so much. I have the best of the best in my life.

______________________________________________________________

Hope you are doing well in work.. tough times, hard times , funny times … jus wanted to say i love you …. hope u r getting excited to move in to the new house … the girl  who lived on her own and proved herself that she can be what ever she wants to be…. the one who can live with out any man cause women are strong , the one who found her prince and holding on to him, the one who is the oldest in the family  but still the baby of the parents, the one who held her sisters closer even after heavy rains 🙂 

 

the person who u r gonna be, the dreams u r gonna have, places to see , people to see 🙂 

 above all i love you .. may the music inspire you 🙂  

  was listening to this though u might like it 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55885Qnt7Ps

 love Anji 🙂

________________________________________________________________
 Date: Wed, 29 Oct 2014 21:30:04 +0000
Subject: RE:
From: AB Junior
To:AB senior 
Thanks ach. How  are you?
Your penpal appu Smiling face with smiling eyes
From: “AB senior”
Sent: 29 October 2014 21:23
To: “AB Junior
Subject: RE:

np appi, i’m ok
i’m on a mission to find 100 things i like about myself

 your pen pal
achu
 Date: Wed, 29 Oct 2014 21:30:04 +0000
Subject: RE:
From: AB Junior
To:AB senior 
I like that you like to do these things
I like that you’re really weird
 I like that I am your sister
I like that you are the oldest but you act like the youngest at times
 I like that you’re so old school, like a granny
I like that you’re such a social media conscious person- deleting all your personal photos of instagram,  who does that?
I like your style of writing in your blogs
Finally, I like that I love you
 Eughh I think I am goin to be sick from the cheesiness overload.
From: “AB Senior”
Sent: 29 October 2014 21:51
To: AB junior 
Subject: RE:
awwwwww you love me you love me 
I need more though
 From: “AB Junior”
Sent: 29 October 2014 21:23
To: “AB senior”
Subject: RE:
 Pfft you’re so needy! Nooooooo 
_________________________________________________________________


Hey baby,

I am in seemati now. I’m watching a father and mother buying their son clothes for his wedding. Somehow, I am smiling, because the mother reminds me of my own. She is strong, very very vocal, and just scolded her husband for the vastness and roundness of his belly.

But her love for the family, her attitude when she is sitting on the sofa pulling her rank and her double checking if she forgot something when they were leaving made me realise that marriages are born in heaven, but they live on earth. I guess that everything starts with puppy love after which we discover sincerity, honesty, beauty and faith in each other.

I know my flaws, and I know yours. I know that you accept yourself for who you are. I do too. For who you are, for what you do and for what you make me become. My idea of a marriage is us picking strawberries, fighting and making up, being different from each other and a million other things but together.

I will always love you

Life’s little moments.

Talking to a friend made me realise that I’ve been soooooooo busy recently. So busy that I forget to write down the little moments of life, remember these moments later on, celebrate and cherish them. You get so copped up with life that you don’t have enough hours in the day to read a book that you like, do a self-less good deed once a month or to tell your loved one why you appreciate them being in your life. Laziness, refusal to be out of your comfort zone or just plain inability to appreciate or celebrate life’s little moments all could be the reason.

But I refuse to be like this.

Ima start enjoying life’s little moments again and celebrate them cause, quite frankly, life is amazing!

Here’s to life and to the friend who reminded me of this!

 

She believes and so she does!

image

Even in this day and age, it is difficult for a woman to do whatever she wants in life. Forget about her own fears, insecurities and self-doubts, but she also has to answer to others doubts in a woman’s ability to succeed. Sometimes its subtle and hidden, sometimes its very explicit.
I see it all, I hear it all, I might not say anything out loud but I do say ‘F.U’ inside my head and continue to do what I do best- being a Strong Independent Woman.