I had a dream

So I had a dream lastnight.

And unlike Martin Luther king, I dreamt about travelling to space along with my husband on a banana boat. 

Now, to get yourself going, you just have to get thrown up in the air (no trouble!). So the journey is long and tricky and it takes days to travel through the dark empty sky on a banana boat. But we presevere. And at one point, i look up and see trillions of stars up above. I look at my husband and say ‘Im so grateful that you are here’. And the next thing we know is that we are starting to float in the air. Gravitys lost (!). Loving every moment of it till the moment is finished and we are back on earth in a dark shady corner. 

A lady in white coat (insert wtf*) tells us my parents were in the space ahead of us and they will be around looking for us. We decide to get ourselves back up in the air on the banana boat lets not forget. Off we go again. Same journey. Same outcome.

After a few times, we end up indulging in a lot of rather unusual but apparently necessary rituals to get ourselves back up in the air. This involves a horse biting someones looong bundle of hair and then me taking the hair bundle off its mouth, circling it and throwing it up in the air(insert wtf* x 2).

‘Are you getting up?’ I hear the voice of my space voyage partner at 6am and my space journey comes to an end.

I will never know what happened after i threw the hair in the air but lets just hope that we ended up in space and reunited with my parents.

The end.

‘You may say I’m a dreamer

But I’m not the only one

I hope someday you will join us

And the world will be as one’

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Much dreaded day of the year!

A much dreaded day is coming up for me. My birthday. A day that causes stress in me, my family and friends. This year though, instead of getting gifts, cards, messages and money, I decided to do something different. Below here are some of the causes that I believe in. It would mean the world to me, and make my day and my life so special if you can do any of these for me. Please do message me (privately) if you are able to do any of these, or your own thing if you’d like, and I will cherish that in my life forever.
Bring a box of chocolate to the local ambulance, fire station, A&E (or police station if you dare!)
Give motivational books, posters or materials to the local youth hostel near you. Alternatively, send me a donation for buying these things or send these things to me and I will personally deliver them to the local youth hostel that I work in.
Homeless people- 1, Give a fiver or tenner to a homeless person. 2, Create a care package with snacks, sandwiches, toiletries etc and give it to 5 homeless people. 3, Get to know a homeless person, get to know his/her circumstances and get him a sandwich of his choice for 4 weeks.
Donate money or clothes to your local Barnardos charity for children (or any children’s charity of your choice)
A donation for the older people’s cafe (LinkLiving)that I volunteer at (I will specify what the money will be used for later on).
Help elderly with their shopping.
Ask a shop assistant how his or her day has been.
If you have a grandparent who lives near you or with you, give him/her a hug and a kiss.
Leave a compliment under a young girls profile picture of herself.
Leave a note on your rubbish bin for the man/woman who collects your rubbish thanking them for their service.
Finally, if you are religious, say a little prayer for me to be always grateful for the life I have and blessings I have in life. And for my catholic friends and relatives, may be light a little candle or say a decade of rosary/divine mercy chaplet for me?
Thank you
I will be sure to have the best birthday this year!

A new day, a new start..an answer to my predicament.

6am,

Its dark, its cold,

And your life is on hold.

Muscles hurt, brain is frozen,

And you want to stay in bed for a reason.

Just a little bit more,

I’d wake up in 5

And it will be a new day,

A new start.

An answer to my predicament.

But hey,

That aint how it goes

I aint a snoozer

I dont wanna be a looser.

Hurt those muscles more,

Unfreeze the brain to the core, 

Put your reason to stay in bed on hold, 

And it will be a new day,

A new start,

An answer to my predicament. 

Lets put the world back together, piece by piece

In the days that are filled with pain,
In the world that is filled with negativity,
Lest we forget,
Evil cant fight evil
Evil wont fight evil

Lets put the world back together,
Piece by piece

Spread a little positivity
Smile at someone,
Wave at a stranger,
Feed the homeless, or give a fiver
Open the door for elderly,
Help a mother with her shopping bags
Do your bit.

Lets put the world back together,
Piece by piece.

Non-titled post 

I’m not giving any titles to this post as no title would be appropriate for the confusing, complicated and perhaps inevitable thoughts that come with that one dreadful word that I can’t keep away from: ‘Life’.

Life.

Four simple, straightforward letters.

But the meaning?

Not so simple or straightforward is it?

Now, I know when I was given Life,

But I know not when I started living Life.

Is it time, is it age, ot is it the stages that signifies Life?

Or the feelings that you know of or not know of?

The questions I can never find answers to,

The answers I can never find satisfaction with,

Makes me feel lost of the very same dreaded word.

I breath.

I see.

I feel

And I learn

But that’s not all what Life is, is it?

I dream

I yearn

I try

And I wish

Then again, that’s not all there is, is it?

I must surrender

To the Four simple, straightforward letter,

That does not ever give me a simple, straightforward definition.

To Life,

Yours.

I’m more than his Alien!

He suggested that we watch Martian and that I’d like it. I agreed, rather reluctantly. Whilst watching the movie, I asked him if he’d ever like to go to Mars. He said yes, to which I asked him ‘then why don’t you?. He said he’d need immense amount of training and knowledge to be able to go there, to which I asked him ‘why don’t you?’. He took his eyes off the screen, looked at me and said ‘I’m actually happy on earth’. I smiled and said ‘because you’ve got your alien here! ‘You’re more than an alien’

Wedding day speech on wedding anniversary

Came across this speech I wrote for my wedding reception but never got to read it out due to your usual wedding-receptiony-never-go-things-as-planned stuff. Thought I’d post this here, on the 1st anniversary of our wedding so that I can look back on this and actually praise myself for writing a good damn speech.

‘I’m standing here in front of you tonight mainly because I wasn’t really given a choice. ‘People are making an effort to celebrate your special love for each other, so its only fair that you put an effort and show them why your love is special’.

Some of yous know that I have a deep love for philosophy and use philosophy and metaphors to learn about life. Even though most of yous don’t know this about us, the beginning of mine and sterry’s meeting was of a philosophical one.

I was going back to Scotland after my October holidays, being all sad and weary on the stenaline bus. Off comes the hero with a shoulder bag on one hand and an apple core on the other. Sitting in the ferry, looking out of the window and embracing my philosophical side, I asked Sterry a thought provoking question. “what do you see out of the window”. The reply I got left me in pure amazement. Ive heard a lot of philiosphical explanations and thoughts in my life, but what I heard from him that day has to be the one that will always get me through life. Taking a deep breath, looking out of the window, he said “ I see doses and sambar”. Love at first sight guys love at first sight.

Everyone will have that one person in life who will bring out the best in that person. Sterry is that person for me. Couple of months past this coincidental yet enlightening journey, he asked me to join him for a coffee on a cold January morning. Now I’ve never been on a “coffee” with a person” like that, so I did not know what to expect. I mean I had a lot of guy friends but I never had a coffee with anyone, so naturally I was nervous about meeting an opposite gender for a coffee. Don’t really remember much of our conversation but what I do remember most and will remember for potentially the rest of my life is how he commented about my eyebrows. So the conversation went like this “whoever did your eyebrows, did not do a good job. They aren’t equal.” I stayed silent I went home and looked into the mirror, closely examined my eyebrows, and the only thing I could think of was I cannot believe I spent a whole of 10 minutes doing my eyebrows for this guy!! But because of this incident, I learnt the art of mastering my eyebrows and it’s all thanks to his honest feedback. Told you he’s brought the best in me.

We’ve been through some good times and bad times. Good times that make your love even more special and bad times that make your love grow stronger tests your relationship. I’d like to share a bad time I faced in our relationship recently, I hope it’s not too personal. So last week, I went through a real trial and temptation. Hardest time of our marriage. Last week, Sterry had a cold. A cold that resulted in severe amount of snoring. Snoring that kept me awake, snoring that made me poke him several times, snoring that made me look up on Google how to get used to snoring, snoring that made me do a lot of unusual things. Long story short, after what it seemed like the longest and toughest two of hours of my life, the storm calmed down, literally and it taught me a biggest lesson in marriage. There will always be loud snoring in marriages that will cause some sleepless nights, but if your love is stronger than the snoring, you will always surpass all the snoring in the marriage.

In all seriousness, regardless of the hard core feminist in me, who did not favour marriage, I found a not too bad guy, thanks to my mother’s constant prayers, candles, and intervention. Like everyone, I had my insecurities about relationships and marriage. But honestly speaking, the 6 years with him brought out a woman in me who can be stronger with her man, confident in herself and her abilities, gives me the courage to go on in life, inspires me or pushes me to work hard and teaches me to be patient.

When my mum phoned me last month, out of nowhere she asked me you’re really happy aren’t you achu, n I said ‘yeah’, ‘I am actually’. It’s often difficult for a human being to feel content in life in this day and age. But tonight, standing here in front of all you close family and friends, some missing, I can honestly say that I’m content in life. I am happy that I have a dad who gives me the ‘go ahead’ signal on life and dreams, I’m honoured to have a mother who has given me her compassionate side and sacrificed the life for us; sisters who are the most amazing people in my life; bestest friends who are more than I deserve, and in-laws who has made me one of them the minute they met me. Thank you to all you guys for being part of our lives, for helping us get here. We hope you can stay with us as we continue the journey of happily ever after life.’

Happy 21st Baby girl

 

When she was born, I don’t remember how she looked like
Nor do I remember the first time I saw her,
or the first time I held her in my arms.
I do however remember the first word (or one of the first words) she said,
And how chubby she looked.

Living miles apart from each other,
She was a holiday treat for us older sisters.
She walked funny and talked funny
But then again, what was I to know, I was only 5

Fast forward three years, she came to live with us.
A crying baby who missed the grandmother who looked after her all those years.
Since then, she became my possession, a personal project.
And my little person.

Ammachi carried her everywhere and fed her things
I didn’t mind at all.
After school, we rushed home to see her playing in the front garden.
It was an unusual but soon becoming a pleasing sight for us older sisters.

Soon enough, she started going to school.
To our school.
A tiny body in a tiny  cream blouse and a brown coloured frilled frock
With side parted hair and rather short fringe,
She was a fragile little thing lost in Carmel Academy’s school uniform.

Being always subjected to change, and having no one she can trust,
She cried.
Every time she felt scared.

It was 4 pm, and I wasn’t done with my exam
I went up to my teacher to ask her permission to go out for 5 minutes
Luckily, she allowed

I got out of the exam hall to find her
And I did.
Waiting under the big mango tree, weeping.
She looked so weak and fragile,
The 8 year old me felt crumbled
And the sight never faded in my mind till this day.

Birthdays, anniversaries and other  occassions, we celebrated them all.
Hide and seeks, House, and other myriad games, we played them all.
I grew up, Anji grew up, and she grew up with us.
Life kept on bringing us and her changes, a lot and lot of changes.

One of these changes left us in Belfast one fine morning.
She started going to the nearby primary school, St Josephs.
Mummy was so worried about  her that she went to the school at lunch time to check up on her.
She’d already made her first friend, and apparently shared her lunch with her new friend?

Fast forward few years, She joined us in our high school
Again, side parted hair, with no fringe this time, thank goodness
In a grey jumper, tie, blazer, skirt and tights,
A nerdy little first year Indian kid I saw

Being a green blazer myself, a so called ‘cool’ 6th year,
I avoided her every time she walked past me with her friends
and enthusiastically waved at me.

Then one day, I hear her speak at the school assembly
About how Christmas used to be in India

And saw her holding up an umbrella for a short guy,
from my health and social care class.

Again, time kept moving forward.
And it took me to  Scotland for Uni
And Anji to Liverpool
We came back home with plus ones.

Life hasn’t always been mild on her
It brought changes after changes into her life
But she didn’t crumble
In fact,
The fragile girl with the awful side fringe kept toughening up
Without anyone else beside her.

And today, she stands as a strong, independent woman,
With a mind that does not waver easily, annoying for some, especially me.
A family that is well proud of her
A best friend who dots her
Brother in-laws who fight for her attention and approval.

All these years, all these events and all these changes,
Left her to become an amazing young adult
However,
She is still  my possession and my personal project.

And forever my little person.

Happy 21st baby

Life’s little moments.

Talking to a friend made me realise that I’ve been soooooooo busy recently. So busy that I forget to write down the little moments of life, remember these moments later on, celebrate and cherish them. You get so copped up with life that you don’t have enough hours in the day to read a book that you like, do a self-less good deed once a month or to tell your loved one why you appreciate them being in your life. Laziness, refusal to be out of your comfort zone or just plain inability to appreciate or celebrate life’s little moments all could be the reason.

But I refuse to be like this.

Ima start enjoying life’s little moments again and celebrate them cause, quite frankly, life is amazing!

Here’s to life and to the friend who reminded me of this!

 

The joys of a Girl with uterus

My better-half caught me whilst I was being sneaky about something on my phone. ‘What is it?’ he asked. ‘Nothing’, I promptly answered. He grew more and more suspicious which left me with no choice but to be honest about what I was doing. ‘Its a menstrual cycle tracker, and  I  er…was er…updating my er…mood today’. ‘What was your mood today?’ he curiously asked. ‘I er.. put it down as er.. sensitive’, I shyly mumbled. ‘Ahhh so I have to be careful then eh?’ he cheekily asked.

He also thought it was the best time to share his observation about how my motivational level fluctuates everyday; how I’m ready to take on the world one day and the next I’m ready to take on nothing but my bed. His motivational level however stays the same everyday (Annoying, I know!). I reluctantly agreed to what he said and added  that sometimes my body is very weak and I have low energy, especially near to my ‘special days’. I felt very sheepish when I used the good old ‘the-joy-of-being-a-girl-with-uterus’ phrase.

I analysed the problem here as I went to bed

  1. To experience the body changes and the mood swings that you have absolutely no control over
  2. Being ashamed of actually admitting it to people
  3. Being disappointed in not being productive and blaming yourself as being lazy.

..and I fell asleep.

This morning though, My alarm who does NOT have ANY sort of mood swings or low energy problems woke up at sharp at 8 and woke me up at sharp at. I cursed everything under the sky for waking up, my body feels like a wrecked train and my mind feels like its in a vegetative state. My morning thoughts included: ‘I shouldn’t have no dreams, I don’t need to achieve anything, I’m not ambitious, strong or passionate as I think I am. I should just binge-watch a corny tv series and finish the 4 packets of watsits and 3 bars of toblerone that’s in the kitchen. But its a looooong way from here. And here it begins,  ‘The joy of being a girl with uterus’

Approximately at about 8.40, I thought to myself ‘I aint no girl with a uterus,  I a woman’. A woman with uterus. A woman who can woman up even though her uterus is being a ‘beesh’ to her. So I downloaded a productivity app, added simple tasks such as drinking water, having tea, tidying up room, praying etc on it; every ticks I had acquired beside the simple tasks motivated me to pursue and achieve bigger tasks.

Long story short, I finished all those 4 packets of watsits and the toblerone that was in the kitchen, but I replaced them with an amazing chicken roast and a rather delicious banana loaf I made.

AND I got myself a big tick for writing this blog post.

Not bad at all for a girl sorry woman with uterus.