My perfect veil

The wedding preparations are ongoing!

One day, I’m excited as hell about the wedding celebrations, the marriage life, the ‘always and always’s, the responsibilities etc.

Next day, I can’t be bothered with all the commotion and pain that comes with it. Too much hassle.

On the third day, I am scared as hell and unsure about spending THE REST OF MY LIFE with a man!!! I like my feministic approach to things. What if marrying a man kills my feministic spirits? Gee that’s a no no!

On the fourth day, I can’t believe I’m giving up ‘everything’ for marriage. Do I not want to travel? I definitely should’ve got a flat. Oh and that masters? Damn, I haven’t done everything I wanted to do before getting married. Because of course, it would be impossible to do all this once I’m married.

On the fifth day I like my ‘single’ stress free life and I like my mammy. I can never be the silly and immature daughter I’m just now. I can’t share dirty jokes with my sisters. Why? Because I’m going to be a..wait for it..WIFE!!

On the sixth day, is he the ‘right’ one? We seem to be fighting a lot. What if things are not going to be the same after we marry? Am I in a for a ‘trap’? Is he definitely my type? How can I test him to see that he will definitely stick around?

On the seventh day, God created woman, the most complex being on earth. Back to day one and the vicious cycle starts again.

I’m complex and a handful, I put my hand up. BUT, I am also someone who can appreciate things and not take things for granted. My veil made me realise that.

I ordered this veil online. It looked PERFECT on the website so it was perfect. The veil arrived and I opened it up with a lot of anticipation and excitement.

Oh!

Thought it was going to be like a feather!. Its…. Its stiff. It’s way too rough. And too long. No. I don’t like it. It’s not ‘me’.

Its not ‘perfect’!

Tried to look at it again the next day and the next day and the next day. Nothing changed. So I do what every other girl would do. Went and ordered a ‘soft’ veil.

The ‘soft’ veil arrives. Way too short. Devastated. Why can’t anything work out in my favour?!

My best friend trips to help me out. She says I can wear her beautiful Kim Kardashian veil. Say what??? “but remember, its heavy with all the work. You have to wear what feels right for you’

Devastated!

Two weeks later, I pick up the tab again to order another one. I took the first veil out to compare the length with the second one. I hung them up on my door. I fixate on the first veil. Suddenly, a thought occurred to me. It’s kinda..perfect? Its long, like I always wanted it. It’s got simple but clean work on it, which is my type. And it is …me?.

Boom!

Text to sisters: ‘changed my mind, I’m wearing the first veil’

Text from sister: ‘mmm..i thought the first one wasn’t good?’

Text to sister: think it just occurred to me that its perfect. Might change my mind though. Lol

Text from sister: but it was like a stiff net tho right?

Text to sister: kinda is. Watch out for a new blog entry.

Moral of the story: No veils are perfect, no matter what. If you merely ‘look’ at the veil, you merely find faults with the veil. It might scare you that this veil is not good enough for the big day. BUT if you ‘see’ the veil, you will see what’s good with it and what’s bad with it. If the good things help you forget the bad things about it, that means that’s your veil. Your perfect veil.

Long story short, I found my perfect veil!

(Gooddd life without analogies would be hard!)

Boasty timee!

Bored out of my mind, I decided to scroll down through my previous posts. Some made me cringe, some made me laugh, some made me go ‘shit, that’s some pretty deep stuff there’. Not being boastful or anything, but I really should start listening to myself.
I picked out 2 of my favourites and I have have have to share this with someone. But I dont have anyone to share it with just now. So I is stating em here
1. “Smile it forward” (had to ask myself whether I really wrote that. Not being modest at all here, but that was some good suit man)
2. “I wish you were single dear”. Purely because reading it made me re-live that day. Major aww-ing!

I’m stressed!

Stressed because I got my first ever parking ticket
Stressed because I didn’t have a nice parking spot left at the work car parkStressed because I had to sit through a 2 hour meeting
Stressed because work is piling up
Stressed because my painting didn’t look as nice as the service user or other workers
Stressed because I couldn’t get out of the car park
Stressed because my car kept making funny noises
Stressed because I couldn’t open the door to my house
Stressed because I kept getting irritated when talking to me man
Stressed because the microwave didn’t work
Stressed because I couldn’t be bothered to eat or take a shower
Stressed because internet is slow
Stressed because its cold
Then I come across Mr Jones, and I’m not stressed anymore. I’m laughing! Miracle it is!

“Next time you’re in Asda, – keep up with the Jones’s ….

Dear Mrs Jones,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Jones, are listed below and are “documented by our video surveillance cameras”:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Homewares to go off at 5- minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s toilets.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Homewares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Customer Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of crisps.

6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department – to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ Emergency Medics were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the toy department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the Whole Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘ Mission Impossible’ theme.

12. October 6: In the autoparts department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!

15. October 23: Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was. And last, but not least:

16. October 24: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’ One of the Staff passed out”

And now, I shall get to my dinner and shower. All is well man all is well